ημερολογιο 202

 everytime i talk with people i feel like i have to be in an autopilot ( kostas , ioulia ) or fight with them with the wish of undrestanding that never comes and whoever i think its not like that they dont care for me enough . and with lil was like i was just ok with the no undrestanding no panicing because she was meeting other of my needs and had fun but when i have no undrestanding real intimacy or safety or undrestanding from nobody i fel so alone thats when i stoped being friends with dim go out and other things had nothing to say with people when i go out


now that the fighting is pointless i try think if there is another solution from autopilot maybe like with m y cousin that was no fighting just maybe accepting ?


fight or flight so social situations are dangerous for me 

mipos auto me ta protipa me th lana na valo to floro san protipo
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georgi makes me stressed cause he doesnt undrestand me but also is like is so different that i cant proceed it and maybe the things he wants and that he tries make me see things in his perspective
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do u expect somebody to experience the universe with your mechanisms
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u make me stressed this question u have asked it many times before in different ways and i have answered it many times before in different ways this swallows are personallities make us go around in vain vicious circles and dissapear
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im not made to say same things all the time makes me loose myself and hate myself and its not good for me
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insanity p leei kai o nikitas
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mporo na grapso se ena xarti ola t apatterns kai apla na agnow tis idies erotiseis
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ara na agnow opos kai me thn evaggelia h to mitso ta komatia p den
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alla allo mitsos alo evagelia hm

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